Things I have learned
Never- under any circumstances- take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. But if you do- sleep in the bathtub ...
If you are extremely drunk and swear you will never drink too much a Contd...
If you are extremely drunk and swear you will never drink too much again- you will forget this when you are sober.
If you had to identify- in one word- the reason why the human race has not achieved- and never will achieve- its full potential- that word would be "Government."
There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness." If you don/' t understand this- try putting up your own blog.
You/' d better get all your sex here on earth because there won/' t be any in heaven.
People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
Arts Entertainment
Things I have learned
Bathroom Palacial
I had to play a joke on the maid at a hotel where I was staying. You know that little paper wrapper they place over the toilet seat- that thin paper band that is supposed to convince you that the fa...
Warning: This Article is a Waste of Time
Today/' s topic- ladies and gentleman- is: Time. We/' re going to talk about time today because I never seem to have enough of it. And I figure that if I dedicate a whole article to the subject of ...
Bathroom Palacial
I had to play a joke on the maid at a hotel where I was staying. You know that little paper wrapper they place over the toilet seat- that thin paper band that is supposed to convince you that the fa...
Warning: This Article is a Waste of Time
Today/' s topic- ladies and gentleman- is: Time. We/' re going to talk about time today because I never seem to have enough of it. And I figure that if I dedicate a whole article to the subject of ...
You should not confuse your career with your life. Or- work to life not live to work ... but if you can/' t follow this- email me your ladies phone number and I/' ll keep her occupied while you are busy.
Nobody cares if you can/' t dance well. Just get up and dance. We all need something to laugh about...
Never lick a steak knife- or a frozen metal object. But- if you are dying of curiosity- go for it and get ready for some incredible fun.
The most destructive force in the universe is gossip. Next would be women/' s talk shows...
You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time. Even if you don/' t follow it- you/' ll be back in sync with everybody eventually.
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You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she/' s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.
I have nothing against the institution of marriage ... I/' m just not ready for an institution yet.
The one thing that unites all human beings- regardless of age- gender- religion- economic status or ethnic background- is that- deep down inside- we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers.
A rich man/' s joke is always funny.
The Blonde Joke's On Us: The Dumbest Woman On Earth Was Not A Blonde
I/' ve lived my entire adult life with "dumb blonde" jokes. Whoever started them- probably spawned by pornographers allured by Marylyn Monroe types (probably with dyed hair)- should be locked up in...
More things I have learned
Growing old does have one benefit experience. So- I am continuing here to share my vast pool of knowledge. Of course my girlfriend can/' t resist telling me I need to clean the pool- but heres ...
...
I/' ve lived my entire adult life with "dumb blonde" jokes. Whoever started them- probably spawned by pornographers allured by Marylyn Monroe types (probably with dyed hair)- should be locked up in...
More things I have learned
Growing old does have one benefit experience. So- I am continuing here to share my vast pool of knowledge. Of course my girlfriend can/' t resist telling me I need to clean the pool- but heres ...
...
A person who is nice to you- but rude to the waiter- is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails).
Always forgive your enemies. It will drive them nuts.
The trouble with being punctual is that usually- nobody is there to appreciate it.
Your friends love you anyway. But if you have none- I will be your friend for a small phenomenal fee...
Thought for the day: Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic- and politicians run our government.
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Related Articles:
- Bathroom Palacial
I had to play a joke on the maid at a hotel where I was staying. You know that little paper wrapper they place over the toilet seat- that thin paper band that is supposed to convince you that the fa - Warning: This Article is a Waste of Time
Today/' s topic- ladies and gentleman- is: Time. We/' re going to talk about time today because I never seem to have enough of it. And I figure that if I dedicate a whole article to the subject of - Timothy Ward IS Hotter Than You
Inspiration for the articles I write does not always come instantly. That/' s why I spend hours upon hours each day surfing the internet and visiting various websites. This may sound like time wasted - Robin's Rainbow
When my daughter was very young- one night she was saying her prayers. She paused and asked me- "Mom- if I pray for a rainbow- will God make one?" Well- what could I say? Anyone who can part the - The Blonde Joke's On Us: The Dumbest Woman On Earth Was Not A Blonde
I/' ve lived my entire adult life with "dumb blonde" jokes. Whoever started them- probably spawned by pornographers allured by Marylyn Monroe types (probably with dyed hair)- should be locked up in - More things I have learned
Growing old does have one benefit ... experience. So- I am continuing here to share my vast pool of knowledge. Of course my girlfriend can/' t resist telling me I need to clean the pool- but heres
